Bethany's Birth Story

Bethany Karen Howe

June 29, 2021

9 lbs 1 oz

20.75 in long

    Weeks before Bethany was born I’d been having practice contractions and was pretty sure she was coming soon. Linda came and stayed for almost a week. I tried “the Salad” in downtown LA, acupuncture, the chiropractor, walking, etc. My body just wasn’t quite ready. It was really nice having Linda with us, but unfortunately baby didn’t come when she was here. My mom came the day that Linda left. I tried even more things for baby to come, but to no avail. After 5 days into my mom being with us Bethany finally came!

June 28th, I had an appointment for the midwives to sweep my membranes. That caused some light contractions and that night shortly after Zach and I had sex, I lost my mucus plug and the first real contraction came. It was 11 p.m. and there was no questioning the contraction (surge) this time. It was the real deal. I tried to sleep a little but no sleep came. Every 10 minutes another surge would come. I know that it could change from 10 minutes to 2 minutes super quick, so after 3 surges I woke Zach up and told him that we needed to go. Zach called the on-call midwife and she was 2 hours away. I knew this baby would come before then so I told Zach to call the head midwife. She was going to Hawaii the next day but she said she would meet us at the birth center. Thank goodness.

The surges were different this time than with my other babies. I felt it all right in my belly. It seemed to be more manageable because of that. I would breathe and think positive thoughts to help me relax. Then, in between the surges I was able to pull my hair up and get what I needed. Zach moved quickly and got my stuff to the car. After my “sessions” on the toilet I was ready (I was afraid to poop during labor). I hugged my mom goodbye and we drove to the birth center. In between the surges on the way there I held Zach’s hand and commented on the beautiful, peaceful night. The moon was out, the sky was clear, and it was quiet. I felt such peace on our way to the birth center. This drive compared to the other drives to the hospital was so much better. I felt in control and with all the reading about peaceful births that I did I tried to remember to smile and find things to laugh about.

We got to the birth center and while Zach got the stuff out of the car I saw Tiffany pull up. God bless her for getting there so fast. We got inside and she said I was dilated to a 7 ½. While she was getting things ready I used the bathroom one more time. No more poop. Awesome! She had started filling up the tub and I got right in. It felt amazing and immediately lessened the intensity of the contractions. I coaxed Zach into the tub (I had told him to bring his swimsuit). Once Zach got in I started to feel it in my hips (I assumed that I was in transition and so things were getting a little more intense). Zach used counter pressure and pushed my hips together. It was such a relief when he did that! I am so grateful for him! It was so interesting this time around: it was mostly painful because I was expecting pain, but it wasn’t nearly as bad compared to my other births. I was much more prepared this time and I believe the chiropractor helped a lot to open things up for a smooth birth. Also, the fact that I was in a warm tub and on all fours made such a difference too. I was relaxed and moving side to side to keep everything open for baby. The pushing this time was pretty painful. I think I was pushing too fast. I should’ve just breathed and let my body do its thing.

Zach told me to make all of the noises that I needed to. It was freeing to hear him say that. His arms were tired from all of the counter pressure but he kept doing it. In between surges he would lightly touch my back and tell me to breathe. He was so encouraging and kept telling me that I was doing so good and it was almost over. Our baby would be here soon. All of the sudden he said hello to our baby! Was the baby out? I was so confused! He told me to keep pushing. He saw the head and told me to just push out the rest of her (later I saw a picture of this and it was so crazy that she was just chillin’ with her head out!). I pushed and I prayed and I prayed and I pushed. I thought of Jesus and his atonement. I thought of my grandma Sharp and that she was there helping me. Tiffany helped turn the baby to help her come out and Zach caught that baby in the water and brought her up. He announced that it was a girl and I instantly fell in love. She is a girl and she’s so beautiful! I held her and couldn’t believe it. She was finally in my arms and I felt Heaven so close. It wasn’t over yet though. Contractions kept coming for the placenta. Dang, wonderful, placenta! I just wanted to enjoy my vernix covered baby! I had Zach hold her during contractions because I was worried that I’d drop her. She tracked Zach’s face and latched to nurse right there in the tub! I went to the bed and birthed the placenta that had been giving my baby girl life. I felt the cord pulsing. It was amazing.

My husband was so helpful, strong, involved, and supportive. It was everything I needed. He is everything I need. Bethany’s birth was such a bonding experience with Zach. He cared so much about what I was going through, he helped so much, and was so encouraging. He also felt the power of Bethany’s birth. He expressed how it was so different being right there in the action. It was such a special experience for both of us. I’m so grateful to God for helping me in my preparation for the birth. I had some fear from remembering the pain of previous births. I faced my fears and prayed for confidence and peace. When I was trying to figure out if I should go the birth center route I felt peace as I prayed about it. I’m so grateful for that. Bethany’s birth wasn’t a walk in the park (obviously), but it was empowering and spiritual. What a miracle that occurs when one of God’s children come Earth-side.

The midwives made sure all of the placenta was out with this forceps….they looked frightening but it was fine. They didn’t like how much I was bleeding (although to me it seemed normal from my hospital births). I was pretty dizzy though. They gave me a shot in my leg of Pitocin to help stop the bleeding. Then they put a Miso pill up my bum that also helps control the amount of bleeding. They were satisfied with the result (if they weren’t I would’ve had to go to the hospital). They clamped the cord after a while and Zach cut it. They don’t dispose of placentas there so they just gave it to us, haha. It was in our freezer for a few weeks and then we decided to give it back for them to encapsulate it. I never thought I’d do that, but why not? It’ll be in the form of a pill and I just take one a day and it’s supposed to be super good for me. Better that then me eating it raw like Kitty did after she had kittens. 

We were pretty sure we were having a boy so we didn’t talk a lot about girl names, but when we were laying there in our cozy bed I turned to Zach and said, “Bethany Karen Howe?” and he said, “Yes.” Easiest name we’ve ever chosen. It usually takes us at least a day. She was born at 1:27 a.m. (the on call midwife and another midwife came after Bethany was born when I was still in the tub. I’m so grateful that Tiffany was able to come help us!). She weighed 9 lbs 1 oz and was 20.75 in long. She was born with a whole head of dark hair and a tiny, perfectly rounded head. We were so blessed to have Heather Keil come to Bethany’s birth to take pictures and some video. She got there right after us and was able to capture moments during labor, birth, and post-partum. They are such precious moment and I’m so grateful for her.

After about 4 hours of being there post birth they had us put her footprints on their wall and send us home. We drove home…that morning…hours after she was born. I was ready to fall asleep in their bed so it was a little hard to leave but I was so happy to go to my own bed. Zach was so excited to only have to be there for such a little amount of time. “This is how it should be!” is what he said, haha. 

The peaceful morning greeted our Bethany Karen and Zach carefully drove our precious cargo home. We got home a little before 6 a.m. and our bigger babies trickled out into the living room. They were all awake! Grandma Karen had quite the night too! It was better than Christmas morning. They all greeted their new baby sister and we told them that her name was Bethany. They were instantly in love. They all took turns holding and loving her and it was quite a precious moment. I fed her and went to sleep. Then fed her and slept again. I was told that Lucy just laid next to Bethany during most of my nap. I woke up in the evening, showered, and got kids ready for Heather to come over and capture more precious moments of our new family. We even got one of grandma and the grandkids. I love my family and I thank God for each of our precious children. I love them all so so much. Bethany is now 3 weeks and 3 days old. So much has happened during that time. I’m adjusting to having 4 kids and I’m giving myself grace and not jumping back into things too quickly. I try to keep my kids busy (going on walks, swimming, gymnastics, art, playing, etc.) and give them the attention they need. Sometimes I fail and sometimes it’s all very chaotic, but I try to look for at least one good thing in each day. I’m also trying to soak up every moment with this beautiful newborn, because this precious time is so fleeting and goes by way too fast.

Russell's Birth Story

(38 weeks pregnant)

Russell came two days before his due date

I have always loved documenting the birth stories of my babies.
They're each unique, just like them, and when they're older I want them to be able to read about how they came into this world.
Russell is sleeping soundly on our bed next me as I write this.

Russell Zachary Howe was born June 26, 2019 at 4:55 a.m.
He weighed 9 lbs. 6 oz.
20 in. long
head circumference of 14.7 in.
chest circumference of 14.3 in.
Surprisingly, our boy ties for 2nd place in biggest baby in our family.
Evelyn wins first prize at 9" 10' and then Lucy and Russell were both the same. I don't know why we're blessed with such big, chunky babies.

(Right before going home)

Today is July 3rd and Russell is officially a week old. We have loved transitioning into having him in our family and learning how to give all of my kids the attention they need. Russell is learning how to sleep at night (last night he gave me an almost 5 hour stretch and then two 3 hour stretches). Bless you, child.
Lucy is Russell's second mother. She helps me change his diaper (which can be quite an ordeal with a little boy that can shoot you at any moment), she brings him his binky when he cries, she holds him so steadily and sits there for long periods of time (which is helpful when I need to do something else but Russell wants to be held). So, yes, the second mother is absolutely in love with her little brother and "ugga mugga's" his nose whenever she holds him.
Evelyn is also quite in love. She wants to "Hold him! Hold him!" and then she rests her head on his (she is learning how to be soft). She thinks that he always wants his binky so even when he is sound asleep she is trying to put it in his mouth, but she is also learning about when the proper time is to binky her baby brother. The way that Evelyn says Russell makes my heart melt.
Zach and I are so happy to have our precious boy. We are so grateful that we were blessed with him, along with his big sisters.
Now, to the birth story:

Russell was born on a Wednesday. At the beginning of the week I had a feeling he was coming soon, but I had to get some last minute things done before he came, so I got to work (full nesting mode).
I rearranged the girl's room, deep cleaned the bathrooms, made sure we had groceries and meals that could be made after the baby was born, I weeded in our yard, and probably other things too that made me absolutely exhausted. I was so grateful he didn't come that night. Tuesday I finished my weeding job, took the girls to swimming lessons (which I really wanted to have happen before the baby came), made dinner, took the girls on a little walk, bathed them, and then I dropped into my bed feeling almost as exhausted as the day before...but I finished everything that I wanted to finish!
That night, Zach and I went to bed a little before 10, which was good, but the girls must have sensed that this was their last night before baby because they kept waking up and waking up and not going to sleep and not going to sleep from 12 to 2 (which was unusual!). Thank goodness they went to sleep because at 2 in the morning I started feeling some mild contracting.

They were about 10 minutes apart and started to get more intense. I wasn't sure if this was it because with Evelyn I would start having these somewhat intense contractions and then they'd just go away....for like a week! So, I wasn't taking these contractions seriously, but I got my hospital bag ready and started listening to relaxing music, hypnobirthing affirmations and relaxation recordings. I drank water and ate a snack and just continued preparing to go to the hospital even though I didn't know if we were really going to go. The contractions were still about 10 minutes apart but started getting to the point where I had to lay down and Zach was pushing on my lower back to ease the pain....it did ease it a little bit and I was trying to be calm and relaxed, but I remember saying to him, "I don't know how I did this before. I can't do this."
Zach reassured me that I did do it before and I am strong and can do it again. I didn't feel strong, but I kept telling myself that I could do this.
I asked him for a blessing so that I would know when to go to the hospital (which he only vaguely remembered because he was more than half asleep). That blessing gave me the confidence and peace that I needed to follow my feelings and OH am I glad about that! I needed it and I'm glad I acted when I did.

I called my friend, Sarah at 4:10 to see if she could come be with the girls while we left for the hospital. She said she would and she would bring Kylie. Thank goodness for good friends.
We called our doctor at 4:20 to tell him to meet us at the hospital.
I had been texting my mom since 3 so she knew I was having contractions and that we might be having our baby, and at 4:26 I told her to book her flight because we were going to the hospital.
Before we left I went into the girls' room and looked at them both one more time. I wanted to remember the time of just having my two little girls.
Sarah and Kylie got to our house just as we got in the car to leave (around 4:30).
Once we were driving I told Zach to drive fast! So Zach drove FAST.
We were in his work car with fabric chairs and he was praying that my water wouldn't break in the car. Meanwhile, I was praying that I wouldn't have the baby in the car!

Zach pulled up to the ER and there was a wheelchair outside. I started walking inside and Zach followed me with the wheelchair. I was probably quite the scene with my phone in one hand playing hypnobirthing relaxations out loud and my handheld battery-powered fan in the other hand. I sat down in the wheelchair and told the people at the desk that I was going to push a baby out right now. The lady looked a little frantic but asked some basic questions so she knew who I was (thank goodness that Zach answered the questions). The guy looked at the lady, looked at me, and said, "I'm taking her up". Zach had run outside to park the car as this blessed man took action and wheeled me down the hallway and into the elevator. I said a quick prayer that Zach could find us and then BAM, Zach's hand stopped the elevator door from closing. I honestly don't know how Zach parked and got back to us so fast but I was so happy that he was there with me. We got to a room and I was dilated to a 10. My doctor got there just in time. I pushed three times and at 4:55 the baby was out! (We did not find out the gender during our pregnancy so we were about to be surprised).
Zach called out, "It's a boy!" and I just started crying. I was so happy he was here and relieved that he was out. It all happened so fast and we now had a precious, healthy baby boy. A BOY! I didn't know how happy and emotional I would be when we found out the gender, but it just seemed so right. It was such a heavenly, special moment finding out right then that we had a boy. I felt heaven near and I felt my grandma Sharp near (she had passed away only a few weeks before).

They put my baby on my chest and I just held him and cried happy tears. Here was our baby.
After the doctor and nurses did all they needed to do they left us alone with our boy. The calm after the storm. It was quiet and peaceful and it was just us. I've come to know that for me, that is one of the most special times after a baby is born. Just to have that intimate alone time for the first time.

After a few hours we walked to a different room to settle in there for the day. We stayed at the hospital for a little more that 24 hours and our stay there was great. Everyone took such good care of us. At night, my nurse said that she could watch my baby while I slept and when he got hungry she would bring him to me. So I agreed to that and so needed the sleep, but what I loved most about this was that throughout the night and into the morning different nurses would come in and tell me that my baby boy was so cute and that all the nurses were just sitting around at the nurses station loving on him. I was happy that he was being loved and held and that he was in good hands.

The highlight of our hospital stay was when Grandma Karen and Grandma Linda brought our girls to see us and to meet their baby brother. Evelyn was so excited that she couldn't even handle herself and Lucy was so motherly and just wanted to hold her brother the whole time. Having our girls share our excitement was so special. I'm so grateful that our kids have each other to love.

Lastly, I'd like to share how we came about Russell's name. It's a strong name and we like the nickname Russ a lot. He wasn't necessarily named after the prophet, Russell M. Nelson, but that man of God is such a good example and a source of strength. There are other great men named Russell, one of them being my favorite soccer coach, Russ Godfrey. He was so good and fun and genuine. I really look up to both of these men. There are also some Russells (last name) on Zach's mom's side of the family. We learned a lot of interesting stories about them and we are excited to learn more. We hope that these reasons will give Russell's name meaning to him as he grows up.
Zachary, of course, is named after his wonderful and good father. Zach doesn't want the attention drawn to him, but I hope that Russell will grow up being glad that he shares a name with his dad.
Zach's middle name is Randall, so we also really liked that Russell also started with an R and ended with two L's.

Anyway, now we're home and loving life with our 3 children (my mom is still here teaching me how to mother 3 of them now. Bless her). Life isn't perfect but it's full of perfect moments and when Russell came into this world it was definitely one of those perfect moments.

 (About an hour after Russell was born)

(Meeting his sisters for the first time)

(We are all in love)

 (Lucy came to help take Russell home)

(That smile says it all) 

(Evelyn being so soft)

(Grandma Linda with Lucy and Russell) 

(Grandma Linda with Evy and Russell) 

 (Grandma Karen with Russell)

(Gpa Varge with Russell) 

 (Grammy Cecil with Russell)

(Me and my boy) 

(In the early morning, day 2)

Coming home

(Look at Evelyn's hand tight around my neck. Love her.)

(Russell's 2nd mother)

(3 Generation picture of Grandpa Steve, Zach, and Russell)

(Proud Grandparents with their first Howe Grandson) 

(My beautiful mother) 

WE LOVE YOU, RUSSELL!!!

2 weeks old...