Lucy's Birth Story

After a long night and going through the day with really short naps, Lucy is finally in a deep sleep. So I decided now would be a good time to write about my labor and delivery while it is still fresh on my mind.

Lucy Edith Howe came into the world exactly one week ago. It's amazing to think that she's already been here a week, but at the same time it seems like we've always had her.

Zach came up with the name Lucy and I loved it. We wanted her to have a name where she could draw strength from and decided that Lucy would be perfect because my 5th great grandma is Lucy Mack Smith (the mother of the prophet Joseph Smith). Lucy was strong and full of faith.

Edith comes from my Grandma Edith Sharp (my mom's mom). She is the hardest worker that I know...even at the age of 95. She is loving, creative, and adventurous. When she was little there were some boys who were being mean to her friend and she punched them. Haha, go grandma.

Lucy was born Tuesday, October 6th at 6:41 a.m.

She weighed 9 lbs 6 oz and was 20.5 inches long.

But lets rewind a little bit...

Friday, October 2nd was my last day teaching my cute little Kindergarten and First Grade class. It's a darn good thing that that was my last day, because I had a doctors appointment on Monday and was told that I was dilated to a 3 and was 80% effaced. So, naturally I went home and started helping Zach deep clean our car so that we can sell it. I also packed my hospital bag and organized baby's room. 

Apparently all of that walking around and busyness helped things progress quickly because Monday night/Tuesday morning I woke up to contractions. I'm not sure exactly when they started, but I think around 1 a.m.

I kept tossing and turning and at about 2 or 2:30 I decided to wake Zach up. I told him that I was having contractions and I didn't know if they were the real deal or not.

I asked him to give me a priesthood blessing. Once he did I felt comforted and I knew that everything would be okay. I tried to breathe and relax, while Zach helped by rubbing my back.

I've heard about some people having contractions and then them going away and coming back a week later, so I had no idea when or if we should go to the hospital. We tried looking online for some helpful info but it was cut short when I went to the bathroom and saw some bloody show (a sign that the cervix is thinning). I didn't want to look online anymore. I just wanted to relax, so of course, I put on my soothing music and tried blocking out the pain. 

All of the sudden.....I felt a gush of fluid. My water broke!!!

I got anxious and a little grossed out, but Zach reassured me that everything would be okay and that it's a normal thing. 

I washed off in the bathtub and changed my clothes while Zach grabbed everything that we needed and put it in the car. 

In between contractions I was fine, but when a contraction came I would buckle over and couldn't talk. 

Zach texted our moms to tell them that my water broke and that we were headed to the hospital. We started our drive at 3:30 and got there at about 4. The windows were foggy but Zach let me blast the air conditioning anyway. That's true love. I was so so hot and the a/c helped immensely.

We drove to the ER because the entrance was closed. Zach parked the car as I sat in a wheelchair. The nurses started asking me a billion questions. Didn't they know it's almost impossible to speak during a contraction??? I was not in a state to be answering these questions. I just wanted Zach to come back. He was my strength and I needed him. He came running in and I immediately felt better.

They wheeled me into a delivery room and I changed into the stylish hospital robe that has no back and I sat down on the bed. Zach was right there with me the whole time. Breathing in and out so that I would copy him and remember to breathe, fanning me with a piece of paper, and putting a bag of ice on my forehead. I don't know what I would've done without him. 

I was dilated to a 7 when we first came in. The contractions started getting closer together and every time one would start I would brace myself. I can't describe the pain, 

(INTERRUPTION!!! Lucy just hershey squirted sooo loud! Hahaha! Time for a diapie change.)

Okay, I'm back. Zach offered and I gladly accepted.

Contractions are powerful suckers. My lower back would ache and my stomach would cramp tighter than I ever thought it could go (but really I don't know how to properly describe the feeling). At one point I felt like I was going to throw up, but I didn't...thank goodness. 

The pain was so much that I would whimper and cry, yet Zach kept telling me how amazing I was doing and he told me that Jesus has felt the pain that I'm feeling right now. The feeling of peace that I got when he told me that was so comforting, but then another contraction came and it was so hard to focus on that peaceful feeling.

[A few months before giving birth I was told by my sister-in-law that Hypnobirthing helped her to give birth naturally. I decided to check the book out at the library and see what this was all about. I loved the book and got super into it. That's when I decided I was going to give birth naturally.]

The pain started to get more than I could bear and I told Zach that I wanted an epidural. "I do I do I do I do!", Zach continues to remind me that that's how I asked for it.
He went to tell the nurse who had left to get the doctor. The nurse came in and was about to get things set up for the epidural when my body started to push. It felt like gears grinding the wrong way and I made all sorts of weird noises (Zach reminds me about that too and we both laugh about it).
I told them that because my body was already pushing I probably shouldn't get an epidural. The nurse checked to see how much I was dilated and I was at a 9 and a half. Yeah, I didn't want an epidural then. I was nervous it would slow things down and I was almost there. The light at the end of the tunnel!

So, I kept making weird noises and then the doctor came in and told me to start pushing. Pushing was exhausting, but it was so much better than the contractions. I kept asking how many more pushes I would have to do before she was out. The doctor and nurses obviously didn't know but they said that I was doing great and to just keep pushing. Well, I pushed and pushed for maybe a half an hour or 45 minutes (time is hard to keep track of at times like these). 

The doctor told me that they could see her crowning and I heard Zach crying tears of joy. (Later he told me that when he saw her head he thought oh my goodness, look at that tiny little baby. Then, after, when she came out he was so shocked with how big she was. He said it was like a magic trick. Haha.)

 I was closing my eyes to help me relax so I didn't see her head, but they told me to feel her head. Once I touched my babies head I got an extra surge of energy. I could do this! She was so close! I pushed with all of my might and finally they told me that she was out. I opened my eyes and with relief, joy, amazement, and more love than I can describe I saw our baby for the first time. I cried tears of joy along with Zach. She was perfect. It was all worth it. They put her on my chest and clamped her cord. Zach cut it and out came the weird, huge placenta. The doctors did what they needed to do (sewed up my first degree tear and cleaned me up) and then it was just me, Zach, and our precious daughter.

I don't know exactly what heaven will be like, but I felt heaven that morning in the Hospital. I'm so grateful for our sweet Lucy girl and the absolute joy that she brings to our new little family.

Bein Prego.

It's more than halfway through the year...and this is my first post of 2015.

Obviously I've been neglecting my blog. 

Just a little bit.

That's okay though, because I've been busy with work, my wifehood duties, and being pregnant!

I'm already 27 weeks!!! 

Time keeps ticking away and soon this little time bomb is going to burst.

Soon as in 3 months! Minus 3 days, but who's counting?

Zach and I are sooooo excited to become parents!!

We feel incredibly blessed to have this privelage of being entrusted with one of Heavenly Father's children. One of His daughters.

Pregnancy has been quite the adventure. I have stepped into the great unknown.

We found out on Valentine's Day (awwwe, how special) and let me tell you...I never knew how I would feel until that very moment. 

I was so ecstatic then nervous and joyful then worried...so many emotions! 

I guess you could say the hormones had already kicked in.

I could not believe the happiness I felt, but also the fear of life never being the same again and my best not being enough as a mom.

I quickly sent those doubts away because YES, life never would be the same. It will just get better! It will be difficult a lot of the time I'm sure, but the best things come from sacrifice. 

Our lives will be so blessed.

Heavenly Father will be there right along with me. My best might not be good enough, but His best is always good enough.

We had planned to have this baby and God had answered our prayers...and we were and still are SO happy and thankful.

My second trimester is over next week. I'm hoping that the third trimester will be just as nice as the second. I've been feeling great! I can't complain at all. My ankles swell up at times but then I just prop them up on a pillow at night and just like magic they go back to normal by morning.

Although, there was a span of a few weeks there when I had intense back pain. The pain would cause my hearing to fade and I would have a hard time standing. I had to breathe really deeply and put hot pads all over my back. It would wake me up a few times a night and I'd make the painful walk to the microwave to heat the miracle workers up again.

I'm still not quite sure what caused it but the doctor gave me antibiotics for a UTI and said that it may have affected my kidneys. At the same time that I was taking those antibiotics my super cool physical therapist sister gave me a bunch of amazing stretches to do that would help my back. I think the combination of the both of them made it feel better.
I've been doing those stretches religiously and I won't be stopping anytime soon!

My first trimester was pretty good considering I didn't throw up at all, but I had a close call at work one day. Whew! Sooo glad I didn't barf all over the 7th graders I was teaching that day.

I was a bit nauseous at times. My tastebuds were acting so weird. Food that I normally loved made me want to barf and pretty much every healthy thing that I should have been eating while pregnant did too.

I'd try so hard to be a good wife and cook Zach some yummy chicken or veggies for dinner, but when it was cooking all I wanted to do was run outside as far away from the smell as possible.

The story ends well though, I survived. All of the dill pickles though...did not. 

I craved and ate them all. Along with any fruit in my sight...but I think that happens even when I'm not pregnant.

So, there you have it. Much more went on but you can't write it all.

She kicks all the time (mostly when I'm laying down to go to sleep...foreshadowing of my near future?) and I've felt her hiccup!

Sometimes she even kicks hard enough that I can see my stomach move! It's pretty funny.

I love being pregnant and I'm loving living every day at a time.....but I am beyond excited for this girl to join our little family.

Time, go FASTER!!!!!

                                 26 weeks

                                                                                                                        27 weeks

                               

 A few ultrasounds

At about 16 weeks

She's so proper. Look at that pinky posture. 

I love looking at her cute little body. Her legs, feet, and look at her brain!

That's one healthy lookin brain.

At about 21 weeks

Her nose is my favorite in this one.

There's her face, belly, and an arm!

Cutest little body.

Goodbye Comfort Zone!

If you're like me, then you are anxious to try all sorts of new things,

but there seems to not be enough hours in the day or you're a little nervous to.

It might be to finally learn to speak a foreign language, to play that instrument you've always wanted to play, to sew your first project, or to pick up a new sport. 

Whatever it is, you've been putting it off.

Today is the day to try something new!

Start with one thing at a time and give it your best effort!
Don't give up after the first try. What would have happened if we gave up the first time we fell down after taking our first baby steps? 

Be persistent and be patient.

Last week I tried something new. It was scary and completely out of my comfort zone,

but I did it.

I sang in front of a group of people. 

Family, friends, and some people I didn't even know.

I sang "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" and my wonderful husband accompanied me with his guitar.

Now, you have to know that I don't sing in front of people. I sing in the shower, the car, and at church, but I have always been hesitant to sing in front of others.

Last week I wanted to change that. 

I am not a fantastic singer, but God has blessed me with a talent to sing on key, and the only way to help that talent grow is to use it and share it for good.

I promised myself that I would go through with this, so the practicing began.

I would practice any chance that I got and I began to be excited to sing in front of others.

Me? Excited to sing a solo? What?

But I was and so I kept practicing and practicing.

The moment of truth finally came and I was nervous. 

I said my millionth prayer that I wouldn't have a shakey body or a shakey voice....

...and I didn't have either one. 

I had complete faith in my prayer to Heavenly Father. 

That He would help me as I shared my small talent, and He did.

Like I said before: today is the day to try something new.

Just do it! Thank you Nike.

Surround yourself with people who encourage you to try new things and to develop your talents that God has blessed you with!

I am so grateful for my family and friends who support me in trying new things. 

Especially my husband, Zach.

He has always told me that I have a beautiful voice. He has stretched me and made me better. When I was shy about singing he was there to cheer me on.

It's time to push yourself out of your comfort zone! 

Try something new!

Learning From Trials

Being away from my husband has been no less than difficult. But...difficult situations allow growth to take place, and I feel I have grown so much over these past 4 months of living apart from Zach (only 2 more weeks to go!! Hallelujah!). 

I've learned more about who I am. With God's strength I am strong, but alone I am nothing. God is everything and if I don't seek Him out daily, then I will not be as successful as I could be. When I seek Him out He blesses me with success in relationships, school, teaching, feeling the spirit, feeling happy, and all aspects of life.

I have also learned that you can choose happiness no matter what situation you are in. Even though I miss Zach so much and I just want to be with him I still try my best to look for the good in each and every day; and I find it. I choose to be happy even though I miss my family and friends too. I focus on the people around me as I am also staying in contact with those family members and friends that I miss. 

Another precious thing I have learned is that my love for Zach is eternal. That special day in July when we kneeled across the altar from each other was more than just an agreement. It was a promise to God and to each other that we will always be faithful. For eternity. It's not a fickle love. It's not a temporary love that will one day fade away. It's alive, it's real, and it's vibrant. My love for Zach is this way because of both of our love that we have for the Savior, Jesus Christ. We both have personal relationships with Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father, and because of that we are blessed to love each other with a Christlike love.

Our love isn't perfect, yet, but because we have faith in God we have faith in each other, and because we have faith in each other we knew that living apart for 4 months would only cause us to grow closer and stronger. No, it hasn't been easy, but I chose to have God in my life every day and that is what has gotten me through. I chose to be happy when I could have chosen to be miserable and lay curled up in a ball on my bed all day (although it did cross my mind a few times). I chose to remember and love my husband each day and to be that happy woman that he chose to marry.

So many people have been through SO much more difficult situations and have made it through victorious. I look up to and admire those people so much and I love hearing their stories. They're inspiring. Everyone faces different difficulties and challenges in their lives. It's their choice though, in the end, that causes them to either be swallowed up in their misery or to be set free by their happiness.

Celebrating My Grandma's Life.

                                                       

My grandma and grandpa on their wedding day.

Henrietta Marie McGinn Foster

Growing up, I remember visiting Grandma Foster in Salt Lake.

We would play with her dog Scotty a lot, we had Easter Egg Hunts in her yard, and she'd always be willing to give us all the Vaseline we needed, haha.

She was always extremely loving and had a good sense of humor.

Even up to the day my grandma left this world she would always have a big smile on her face when we came to visit her. When life wasn't the best for her she still found things to smile and laugh about.

I love how she would always pat my hand and call me honey with her English accent.

I love how she would genuinely call every one of us handsome or beautiful. 

She would talk about family history work and how important it is. 

She would talk about her decision to be baptized and how it was the best decision she's ever made.

She would talk about Heaven and how excited she was to see her husband.

Now she's with him. Now she's with her daughter. Now she's with her maker.

Grandma Foster was and is an amazing and strong woman.

I am so blessed that I had my sweet grandma in my life and that I will have her in my life again in the eternities.

Mustering the Courage

Shekinah. 

She is my 70 year old friend that is moving out of my apartment complex in three days. 

She kindly let me borrow her dolly to move boxes when we moved in.

After that I had seen her around the complex walking her two dogs.

We would stop and chat about our day and I would pet her dogs.

In a place full of unfamiliar faces I would always hope she would walk by.

A little while ago I had the feeling to share my beliefs with her.

I had the feeling to share the happiness I have that comes from believing in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

But how would I do it?

Give her a Book of Mormon? Invite her to church? 

I knew she liked rocks so maybe I could bring up the gospel that way?

Maybe I could read part of a talk from an apostle that makes a connection with rocks.

Something with rocks?

I knew I had to do something, but I was nervous.

Nervous because I've never done something like this before, and nervous of rejection.

Then my thoughts changed.

She can reject my message. She can think I'm a fool. But I was going to listen to the prompting that I got to share my happiness with her.

Today is the day.

I pray for guidance.

I read church talks.

...I make cookies.

There's no way she'll reject me if I have cookies.

I print out a cute quote and a short passage of a talk.

I'm ready.

Deep breath.

She opens the door with a smile and we chat.

I tell her I've been thinking of her and that I'm going to miss my friend when she moves.

I tell her I read a talk written by an apostle of my church and I asked if I could share it with her.

Are you mormon?

Yes.

There seems to be a lot of you moving in around here.

Yeah, there's a lot of us (nervously).

Well, I have direct line to my divine being. I don't need to go through any church. My duty for this life is to find energy areas and where I'm moving is full of them (continues matter of factly with confidence).

Interesting. Does that have to do with all of the rocks you collect?

Yes, in a matter of fact it does. That is also why I changed my name (proceeds to tell me her full name that I didn't catch because I have never heard any of those names before).

They are all names of archangels. Changing my name legally helps me be more in tune.

She talks more about her beliefs.

We say our goodbyes.
I give her the talk and the quote...and of course the cookies.

I remind her one last time that I just wanted to stop by to let her know that she is loved and I'll miss her.

She gives me a hug and it's finished.

Did I do anything?

Did I make any difference?

Will she ever come to find the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ?

In the end, it seems like the prompting I received was to help me all along.

I was blessed to testify of what I believe in.

I was blessed to hear her so confidently state what she believed it without even a flinch.

I want to be more like my friend Shekinah.

Not just because she loves rocks, but because she is not afraid to share what she believes in.

Today I followed a prompting from the Holy Ghost.

And I grew.

Don't You Quit

I have always loved taking the time to watch Mormon Messages because they uplift and give hope when you might not have been feeling it before.

This video: Good Things to Come is one of my favorites. Go ahead, watch it. Love it and love Elder Holland.

There are times of discouragement in everyone's life, but we must all take comfort in the words "There is help and happiness ahead".

I am doing my student teaching right now at Zaharis Elementary School in Mesa, AZ. I am showered with love from my students and my mentor is talented, helpful, funny, and kind. I feel so blessed to be at such an amazing school full of teachers and a principal that loves learning and loves kids. I am learning so much and am having such a great time, but like I said, there are times of discouragement in everyone's life.

There have been times when I have questioned my career choice, questioned why I got the answer from Heavenly Father that being an Elementary School teacher would be a great choice for me, and questioned if I have what it takes to teach little kids. I have had my days when I have gone home in tears from the stress, hard work, and mistakes I have made while teaching. Some days I am tempted to get swallowed up in my discouragement, but the words "Don't you quit" come into my mind and I try my best to change my attitude to a positive one. I think about what went wrong and how I can learn from it. I tell myself that I can't give up and I can't let these things get me down. I have to get back up and try again. I have to keep walking and keep pushing. I have to turn on the radio and listen to pump up music (Thank you Katy Perry, for your song Roar, it has never failed to make me feel like I can do anything) and tell myself that if I just keep on going and keep on learning from my mistakes that tomorrow will be a better day.

We were not put on this earth to be sad or to feel hopeless. God put us on this earth so that we could have joy and find hope through Him. He put us here together so that we could have people who love and support us. He sent us here with a plan. He sent us here with a purpose. He will watch over us and if we keep walking and keep trying He will bless us for our diligence and perseverance. He will be there to help us and show us the light.

We are all given trials to help us grow. During these trials is when we figure out who we really are. What is really important to us. We find out that our attitude about life is our choice. Do we seek out storms or look more to the sun? This video is a sweet reminder that during those times of feeling lost, helpless, and discouraged there is hope. We must never give up or quit walking. God is on our side and He wants us to succeed. You better believe that He has a plan for how we will overcome our trials. You better believe He has happiness in our future. Even during the hard times when you feel like you can't go any further....He even has happiness there for you too. We just need to look for it.