Weeks before Bethany was born I’d been having practice contractions and was pretty sure she was coming soon. Linda came and stayed for almost a week. I tried “the Salad” in downtown LA, acupuncture, the chiropractor, walking, etc. My body just wasn’t quite ready. It was really nice having Linda with us, but unfortunately baby didn’t come when she was here. My mom came the day that Linda left. I tried even more things for baby to come, but to no avail. After 5 days into my mom being with us Bethany finally came!
June 28th, I had an appointment for the midwives to sweep my membranes. That caused some light contractions and that night shortly after Zach and I had sex, I lost my mucus plug and the first real contraction came. It was 11 p.m. and there was no questioning the contraction (surge) this time. It was the real deal. I tried to sleep a little but no sleep came. Every 10 minutes another surge would come. I know that it could change from 10 minutes to 2 minutes super quick, so after 3 surges I woke Zach up and told him that we needed to go. Zach called the on-call midwife and she was 2 hours away. I knew this baby would come before then so I told Zach to call the head midwife. She was going to Hawaii the next day but she said she would meet us at the birth center. Thank goodness.
The surges were different this time than with my other babies. I felt it all right in my belly. It seemed to be more manageable because of that. I would breathe and think positive thoughts to help me relax. Then, in between the surges I was able to pull my hair up and get what I needed. Zach moved quickly and got my stuff to the car. After my “sessions” on the toilet I was ready (I was afraid to poop during labor). I hugged my mom goodbye and we drove to the birth center. In between the surges on the way there I held Zach’s hand and commented on the beautiful, peaceful night. The moon was out, the sky was clear, and it was quiet. I felt such peace on our way to the birth center. This drive compared to the other drives to the hospital was so much better. I felt in control and with all the reading about peaceful births that I did I tried to remember to smile and find things to laugh about.
We got to the birth center and while Zach got the stuff out of the car I saw Tiffany pull up. God bless her for getting there so fast. We got inside and she said I was dilated to a 7 ½. While she was getting things ready I used the bathroom one more time. No more poop. Awesome! She had started filling up the tub and I got right in. It felt amazing and immediately lessened the intensity of the contractions. I coaxed Zach into the tub (I had told him to bring his swimsuit). Once Zach got in I started to feel it in my hips (I assumed that I was in transition and so things were getting a little more intense). Zach used counter pressure and pushed my hips together. It was such a relief when he did that! I am so grateful for him! It was so interesting this time around: it was mostly painful because I was expecting pain, but it wasn’t nearly as bad compared to my other births. I was much more prepared this time and I believe the chiropractor helped a lot to open things up for a smooth birth. Also, the fact that I was in a warm tub and on all fours made such a difference too. I was relaxed and moving side to side to keep everything open for baby. The pushing this time was pretty painful. I think I was pushing too fast. I should’ve just breathed and let my body do its thing.
Zach told me to make all of the noises that I needed to. It was freeing to hear him say that. His arms were tired from all of the counter pressure but he kept doing it. In between surges he would lightly touch my back and tell me to breathe. He was so encouraging and kept telling me that I was doing so good and it was almost over. Our baby would be here soon. All of the sudden he said hello to our baby! Was the baby out? I was so confused! He told me to keep pushing. He saw the head and told me to just push out the rest of her (later I saw a picture of this and it was so crazy that she was just chillin’ with her head out!). I pushed and I prayed and I prayed and I pushed. I thought of Jesus and his atonement. I thought of my grandma Sharp and that she was there helping me. Tiffany helped turn the baby to help her come out and Zach caught that baby in the water and brought her up. He announced that it was a girl and I instantly fell in love. She is a girl and she’s so beautiful! I held her and couldn’t believe it. She was finally in my arms and I felt Heaven so close. It wasn’t over yet though. Contractions kept coming for the placenta. Dang, wonderful, placenta! I just wanted to enjoy my vernix covered baby! I had Zach hold her during contractions because I was worried that I’d drop her. She tracked Zach’s face and latched to nurse right there in the tub! I went to the bed and birthed the placenta that had been giving my baby girl life. I felt the cord pulsing. It was amazing.
My husband was so helpful, strong, involved, and supportive. It was everything I needed. He is everything I need. Bethany’s birth was such a bonding experience with Zach. He cared so much about what I was going through, he helped so much, and was so encouraging. He also felt the power of Bethany’s birth. He expressed how it was so different being right there in the action. It was such a special experience for both of us. I’m so grateful to God for helping me in my preparation for the birth. I had some fear from remembering the pain of previous births. I faced my fears and prayed for confidence and peace. When I was trying to figure out if I should go the birth center route I felt peace as I prayed about it. I’m so grateful for that. Bethany’s birth wasn’t a walk in the park (obviously), but it was empowering and spiritual. What a miracle that occurs when one of God’s children come Earth-side.
The midwives made sure all of the placenta was out with this forceps….they looked frightening but it was fine. They didn’t like how much I was bleeding (although to me it seemed normal from my hospital births). I was pretty dizzy though. They gave me a shot in my leg of Pitocin to help stop the bleeding. Then they put a Miso pill up my bum that also helps control the amount of bleeding. They were satisfied with the result (if they weren’t I would’ve had to go to the hospital). They clamped the cord after a while and Zach cut it. They don’t dispose of placentas there so they just gave it to us, haha. It was in our freezer for a few weeks and then we decided to give it back for them to encapsulate it. I never thought I’d do that, but why not? It’ll be in the form of a pill and I just take one a day and it’s supposed to be super good for me. Better that then me eating it raw like Kitty did after she had kittens.
We were pretty sure we were having a boy so we didn’t talk a lot about girl names, but when we were laying there in our cozy bed I turned to Zach and said, “Bethany Karen Howe?” and he said, “Yes.” Easiest name we’ve ever chosen. It usually takes us at least a day. She was born at 1:27 a.m. (the on call midwife and another midwife came after Bethany was born when I was still in the tub. I’m so grateful that Tiffany was able to come help us!). She weighed 9 lbs 1 oz and was 20.75 in long. She was born with a whole head of dark hair and a tiny, perfectly rounded head. We were so blessed to have Heather Keil come to Bethany’s birth to take pictures and some video. She got there right after us and was able to capture moments during labor, birth, and post-partum. They are such precious moment and I’m so grateful for her.
After about 4 hours of being there post birth they had us put her footprints on their wall and send us home. We drove home…that morning…hours after she was born. I was ready to fall asleep in their bed so it was a little hard to leave but I was so happy to go to my own bed. Zach was so excited to only have to be there for such a little amount of time. “This is how it should be!” is what he said, haha.
The peaceful morning greeted our Bethany Karen and Zach carefully drove our precious cargo home. We got home a little before 6 a.m. and our bigger babies trickled out into the living room. They were all awake! Grandma Karen had quite the night too! It was better than Christmas morning. They all greeted their new baby sister and we told them that her name was Bethany. They were instantly in love. They all took turns holding and loving her and it was quite a precious moment. I fed her and went to sleep. Then fed her and slept again. I was told that Lucy just laid next to Bethany during most of my nap. I woke up in the evening, showered, and got kids ready for Heather to come over and capture more precious moments of our new family. We even got one of grandma and the grandkids. I love my family and I thank God for each of our precious children. I love them all so so much. Bethany is now 3 weeks and 3 days old. So much has happened during that time. I’m adjusting to having 4 kids and I’m giving myself grace and not jumping back into things too quickly. I try to keep my kids busy (going on walks, swimming, gymnastics, art, playing, etc.) and give them the attention they need. Sometimes I fail and sometimes it’s all very chaotic, but I try to look for at least one good thing in each day. I’m also trying to soak up every moment with this beautiful newborn, because this precious time is so fleeting and goes by way too fast.
